Ask DOB and he’ll tell you: it’s because I’m the real Spider-Man.
Anonymous as in 4Chan Anonymous? I wasn’t aware… unless you’re referring to Tumblr where it says “anonymous asked….” which is just how tumblr refers to people who ask questions anonymously…
Yes to both. Oh wait. Just the former.
Here are 5 tweets I left in the span of about 90 seconds upon hearing that Kelly Clarkson supports Ron Paul for President:
Kelly Clarkson supports Ron Paul? Hmm, I want her on our side for the upcoming race war. (She has strong legs!)
Kelly Clarkson wants Ron Paul to run America. The same women who thought Clive Davis didn’t know how to run a record label.
Kelly Clarkson’s support for Ron Paul is much like Ron Paul himself: strange and inconsequential.
Kelly Clarkson supports Ron Paul. Asked for comment Simon Cowell said, “I’m a ginormous douchebag with man breasts.”
Kelly Clarkson supports Ron Paul. Or as history from five years from now will record it: “Who supports who?”
Misunderstood? I’m under the impression Wiccans believe in sex magic. Regardless of the accuracy of that, I’m not going to stop believing that, OK? And thank you.
I freelance for Cracked, but I’ve had my a column for years and wrote a new column almost every week of 2011, so “occasional” strikes me as odd…
Yes, please apologize for all that praise. Thanks.
Yes. I was tired.
It seems to have become hip online to talk about about how the end of Raiders sucks because Indy doesn’t do anything. His job was to make sure the Nazis dont get the arc and then they do and then there was nothing to worry about anyway because the Arc took care of itself. That idea has run on Cracked and on WWTDD.
I wholly disagree. For me, the point was that even though Indy is a brilliant scholar and thoroughly awesome action hero, he is humble in the face of God. Unlike the Nazis who arrogantly seek to control God and use the power of the Arc for their purposes, Indy closes his eyes. It is this act that saves him. Not his intellect. Not his bravery. His reverence, respect, and humility.
Yes, you got it. Maybe my favorite joke ever.
I’ll actually be addressing that as a small part of my next column.
Knock knock. Who’s There? Joe Paterno. Joe Paterno Who? Joe Paterno who failed to report horrific sexual abuse.
How many Joe Paternos does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, if he has Sandusky do it. Oh, and the light bulb is a helpless boy.
What has 4 eyes but can’t see (horrific sexual abuse?)
Did you hear the one about Joe Paterno and St. Peter at the Gates of Heaven? Yeah, me either.
What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple? Joe Paterno turning a blind eye to systematic child rape.
Why is Joe Paterno like a hot apple pie? Because apple pie doesn’t care if boys get raped either.
What did Tarzan say when he saw Joe Paterno coming over the hill? “Fuck that guy. Tarzan no like child rape enablers.”
“Hey, Joe did you hear the one about the monster and ten year old boy in the shower?” “No. I did not hear that.”
I work a full time job. I also maintain a weekly cracked column. But due to this recession, I’m still in dire need of funds. That’s why I brought Hate By Numbers back last month as a fan-sponsored program. If I’m going to work a third job, then I”d prefer it be one I enjoy, and at the same time be one that makes people happy. But considering the demands of my two jobs and my family, dedicating the minimum of 50-70 hours necessary to put together four episodes of HBN, it needs to make financial sense if I’m going to do it. That’s where the $2000 came from. Keep in mind that some of that went to my site’s webmaster, my site’s monthly fee, costumes, props, and subcontracting for pshops and animation.
Now, I’ve done four new episodes of Hate By Numbers that I’m very proud of. I felt a great debt to those who contributed and I hope it shows how much time I put in them .
Today, I aired the fourth episode, replete with a request for money. If you missed it, here it is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dyuHNpoOU1o
In the last 4 episodes, I’ve gained hundreds of new Youtube subscribers and about 1000 new Twitter followers. I’m hoping these new fans will lighten the load of the request. (I mean, if each FB friend donated 50 cents) I”d have more than enough.
Last time, we raised the money in a month. I’d like to beat that this time. Anything you give is appreciated. However, if you donate 10 bucks, I’ll put your name in the credits. 100 then I’ll announced you as a sponsor and 500, I will put your name in the logo as in “your name presents” HBN.
The donate button can be found here: http://www.kafkamaine.com/hatebynumbers/
Thank you all.