Gladstone -- Now in Color

cracked: Indy drove Marion into the arms of alcoholism. And...

Fri, 24 May 2013 13:02:11 -0400

Indy drove Marion into the arms of alcoholism. And also a monkey. Which is drugs.

4 Reasons ‘Raiders of the Lost Ark’ Is Secretly About Drugs

#4. Marion in Nepal

This was no summertime fling gone wrong. This unholy union was capable of creating something darker than the destruction of the relationship between a mentor and his favorite student. Marion says, near tears, “Do you know what you did to me? To my life?” More than a broken heart. Indiana is the source of her physical addiction. Indeed, I would offer that Indiana is not only the indirect cause of her chemical dependencies — via the broken heart she nurses with drugs — but perhaps directly responsibility for her addiction. The one who got her hooked in the first place.

He enters, and her first reaction is to light a cigarette.

Read More

4 Reasons 'Raiders of the Lost Ark' Is Secretly About Drugs

Fri, 24 May 2013 08:45:39 -0400

4 Reasons 'Raiders of the Lost Ark' Is Secretly About Drugs:

Heroin, specifically.

5 Post-Apocalyptic Career Choices for Famous Zombies Killers

Tue, 21 May 2013 08:05:35 -0400

5 Post-Apocalyptic Career Choices for Famous Zombies Killers:

I decided I’d take a simple zombie-killing article and give it a twist: ranking my favorite zombie killers of all time, and then choosing proper careers for them in a post-apocalyptic world.

Gladstone, can you clarify the lyrics of the second verse of Taylor Swift's "boyfriend's" video response (HBN September 2012)? All I'm getting is something about picking lice and depression and I'm driving my coworkers crazy listening to it on repeat.

Tue, 21 May 2013 06:59:17 -0400

Not really gonna miss you picking lice after crashing random couches for a night. you come over uninvited all the time with pop records little girls buy.

Ricky Gervais interview!

Fri, 10 May 2013 07:16:00 -0400

Ricky Gervais interview!

Beatniks!

Fri, 10 May 2013 07:15:37 -0400

Beatniks!

Skylanders Breakfast Battles Vol. 1

Fri, 10 May 2013 07:14:20 -0400

Skylanders Breakfast Battles Vol. 1

Lesser known Skylanders...

Fri, 10 May 2013 07:13:54 -0400

Lesser known Skylanders...

The 4 Greatest Things in Comedy (Everyone Misunderstands)

Sat, 04 May 2013 08:53:20 -0400

The 4 Greatest Things in Comedy (Everyone Misunderstands):

We all love things that bring us pain.

…. or 4 Things I Love In Comedy That Bring Only Pain.

The 4 Ballsiest Career Moves by Famous Musicians

Sat, 27 Apr 2013 09:37:56 -0400

The 4 Ballsiest Career Moves by Famous Musicians:

These were important artists with huge followings who had no need to change course or rock the boat.

Hey Gladstone. I'm a frequent reader of Cracked, and Iove your articles. Just wanted to drop a note to say that I love the closing paragraph to your crazy-fanbase article. It's one of the best things I've read in a long time. Have a good one!

Tue, 16 Apr 2013 22:23:29 -0400

Thank you.

The 4 Most Weirdly Obnoxious Celebrity Fanbases

Tue, 16 Apr 2013 22:21:09 -0400

The 4 Most Weirdly Obnoxious Celebrity Fanbases:

These are four celebrities whose fans I’m sure to avoid at parties and online.

5 Things Left 4 Dead Taught Me About Life

Wed, 10 Apr 2013 00:40:10 -0400

5 Things Left 4 Dead Taught Me About Life:

Sure, sure, terrible, paranoid, war-mongering President, but...

Thu, 21 Mar 2013 07:53:38 -0400

Sure, sure, terrible, paranoid, war-mongering President, but just how cool and awesome does Richard Nixon look here?

comedycentral: giovanni-stewarto: [1997][2012] What’s so...

Fri, 15 Mar 2013 13:41:48 -0400

comedycentral:

giovanni-stewarto:

[1997][2012]

What’s so funny?

Dave (1997): Don’t kid yourself, that pepper-spray is just perfect for zesty salads.

Dave (2012): [Mitt Romney] reminds me of the guy that you see on the package of underpants.

itriedthatonceitwasabadmove: I have Pope Pope in the attic.

Thu, 14 Mar 2013 20:13:53 -0400

itriedthatonceitwasabadmove:

I have Pope Pope in the attic.

?

Sun, 10 Mar 2013 21:00:57 -0400

you’re not allowed to just say stuff here, right? that’s twitter? OK, cool.

6 Seemingly Simple Tasks Everybody Sucks At

Thu, 28 Feb 2013 23:48:30 -0500

6 Seemingly Simple Tasks Everybody Sucks At:

cracked:

Gladstone can’t close a bag of shredded cheese, so now it’s everybody’s problem.

Yep. Everybody.

i haVE BEEN WAITING A MILLION FUCKIN YEARS FOR YOU TO GET A TUMBLR

Sat, 23 Feb 2013 23:19:42 -0500

Ive had it for well over a year….

Dude, why do you assume every woman's profile pic's primary purpose is to attract men?

Sat, 23 Feb 2013 12:48:41 -0500

I should have said “attract other people” instead of men, because yes a percentage of the world is gay. But the reason I see a component of trying to be attractive to the world in every action that people engage in online is because, I live in the world and work for the Internet.